I did so well during my radiation treatments that I didn't expect the exhaustion I have experienced in the two weeks that have followed.

It's odd, not getting up at 6:30 every morning to go get fried. I'm now a cancer surviver, not a cancer patient. I'm celebrating, but I feel as if a large part of myself is still back there getting zapped.

Two days ago I underwent my last, and 33rd, radiation treatment. In all I received 173 blasts of radiation that--by my one-thousand two-thousand count--endured from one second to (for the last five "boosters" on the scar area) a scary twelve.

Straight Talk About Breast Cancer is not only my pick as the best book for a person newly diagnosed with breast cancer, but my choice as an indispensible aid for choosing among later, difficut options.

Yesterday, realizing I can't expect anyone to read my mind, I sent an SOS out to a few friends and one, conveniently two blocks away and on spring break from teaching, came over within the hour, entertained me extravagantly, and went nuts over my fish.

When I got home from my fourth booster blast today and went to change my sweater so the indelible ink used to mark the target wouldn't stain it, I noticed that my breast had suddenly shrunk. Why is this so upsetting to me?

Yesterday, as I wrote about painting fish and other comforts I found through my experience with breast cancer, arranging them alphabetically for my amusement, I suddenly realized I'd found the voice for a book.

For all you good folks suffering radiation depression, which happens to some of us after 150 blasts (my "protocol" totals 173 blasts, six per session plus five and I've done 169 of them), here are some antidepressants that have worked for me.

I might be poor company today, but I'm not totally useless: I did an entire painting--start to finish, including painting a frame to go with it--of one type of rainbow wrasse.

Okay, I did really well the first five and a half weeks, but this last week I'm hurting, burning in sensitive places, depressed, cranky, and eager for the end.